Watching a friend go through a hard time isn’t easy. You might feel helpless or at a loss for the right words to say, but all you want to do is help them.

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind when comforting a friend who is coping with loss:

Check in regularly
Whether it’s once a day or once a week, check in regularly so your friend knows you’re there. Even if he or she doesn’t want to talk, it’s always reassuring to know that someone is thinking about you. If it seems like your friend isn’t ready to open up quite yet, simply let them know you’re there if they need anything and give them their space. When they’re ready, they’ll know you’ll be standing there with arms wide open.

Send something thoughtful
Maybe your friend just lost a loved one or is going through a really bad breakup or divorce. Whatever it may be, send something to show that you’re thinking of them. Whether it be a handwritten card, flowers, or their favorite treat, offer a small token to let them know that they’re not alone.

Spend time with them
This can get tricky and depends on your friend’s willingness and readiness to put themselves out there. Feel it out and if it seems like they need a little breather, invite them out for coffee or ask them if they want to catch a movie. Sometimes, just having someone there — whether you talk about the loss or not — can make all the difference.

Let them grieve how they choose
People grieve differently. While some choose to cry and need time alone, others need someone to talk to and are comforted by the company. Either way, let your friend know that you’re available so they have the freedom to choose how they want to grieve.

Listen
When someone is grieving or having a hard time, it’s easy to readily offer them advice, but remember to listen first. If they ask for your advice, then do so with care, but don’t approach the conversation with advice as your priority. It’s important to keep in mind that you don’t know exactly how your friend is feeling, even if you’ve been in a similar situation.

xx, The FabFitFun Team