You’re single, your friend meets someone she thinks you’d be compatible with, and the matchmaker story ensues. You’re going on a blind date. But will your blind date truly be blind? Because let’s be honest, you’re bound to Google search their social media accounts to find out “everything” you need to know before the first date.
While it’s nice to know what you’re getting into, experts share five reasons why it might be better to keep it a mystery.
According to Chicago matchmaker Stef Safran, “It’s a 50-50 shot that the person looks like the pictures they’ve put online. You can get turned off by their looks or get disappointed if their looks don’t match their social media profiles,” says dating coach Treva Brandon Scharf. Keeping a blind date blind allows you to keep expectations at an appropriate level and let first impressions truly be first impressions.
Sometimes, you need to hear the whole story to understand. “[Whether] your date’s been divorced or has a child, these are conversations that may require more explanation in person, and it’s all too easy to make snap judgments if social media reveals these intimate details before you can mentally prepare or hear them out,” says Shannon Smith, relationship expert at Plenty of Fish.
Past vs. present
When stalking people on social media, there’s a tendency to look at things that happened many years ago and form a judgment. This judgment forgets the fact that people can change. When we make judgments of someone based on who they were, we start questioning the behavior they show in the present,” says relationship expert Tiffany Toombs. Think about it – when’s the last time you changed your Facebook bio?
Curiosity and chemistry
Dating podcast host Bridget Fonger explains, “The more you stay in a state of curiosity, the more your assumptions start drifting into the background, allowing you get really get to know the person.” When you know too much about someone, “There’s no natural discovery of interests, careers, friends, and interesting tidbits about them. It’s that discovery that can lead to authentic chemistry,” adds Chris Vitale, senior manager of People Looker.
Staged interactions and adjusted behaviors
Dating expert Chris Pleins explains that we modify our behavior toward a person based on what we think we know about them. “Throughout the date, whether you’re conscious of it or not, you’ll segue to the tidbits you learned about them [through social media.] You’ll also act in a way you think they’ll like you the best,” says Pleins. In the end, hiding any part of yourself, even subconsciously, won’t allow your date to get to know the real you.
xx, The FabFitFun Team