Using a dating app can be a frustrating experience, but also an extremely rewarding one. So what makes the difference between those who meet their S.O. on dating apps and those who swipe into oblivion?
Here are five mistakes to avoid if you want to optimize your success on dating apps.
Putting all your eggs in one basket
People on dating apps are typically dating or at least talking to multiple people at once, so don’t get attached to someone after just one or two good dates. “Expecting exclusivity is not the norm these days, especially early on,” says Emily Pfannenstiel, a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationships. “You can start to raise your expectations after you have gone on a couple of dates with someone and have had conversations about what each of your hopes and expectations are for a new relationship.”
Dragging on the text conversations
It’s easy to get caught up in an endless series of Tinder messages or texts, but they can end up being a waste of time if the in-person meeting doesn’t live up to the digital conversations – or if it never happens. “Spending a lot of time talking with one another can raise your expectations about how the date is going to go,” says Pfannenstiel. “The best thing you can do is set up a date to meet fairly quickly so that you can see if you hit it off and if it’s worth investing more time into the relationship.”
Not diversifying your photos
A collection of selfies won’t give someone a complete enough picture of who you are or what you look like. Instead, take a variety of photos including action shots, full-body shots, and candids. “Make sure that no one else shines more than you in the picture,” says relationship expert and mental health consultant Adina Mahalli. “Additionally, don’t appear to be too friendly with anyone of the same gender that you’re looking to woo, as this can be a major red flag for people viewing your profile.”
Not saying what you’re looking for
Don’t wait to figure out if you’re seeking the same type of relationship after you match with someone. Listing what you’re exactly looking for in your profile helps weed out those who are incompatible with you. “This doesn’t have to be a whole paragraph of exactly what you want,” says April Davis, owner and founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking. “It can be as simple as writing ‘no hookups’ or ‘looking for something casual.’ This allows people coming across your profile to know what they are getting into and allows you to avoid wasting time with someone who might have a different end goal in mind.”
It may seem reasonable to gather as many options as you can, but if you’re not selective enough, your inbox can get overwhelming. So use your right-swipes wisely. “When you open your dating app and see all those people waiting for responses from you, you will close the app and not want to reply to any of them,” says Davis. “But if you have three or four people you are having a conversation with, it will be easy to keep up with them without feeling overwhelmed.”
xx, The FabFitFun Team