It’s pretty much a known fact that Selena Gomez is the queen of Instagram…she has over 113 million followers, making her the most followed person on the ‘gram. So, of course, we should assume she has social media on lock.

But you’d be surprised to learn the toll social media has taken on her mental health. The 24-year-old singer and actress tells all in her first Vogue cover story.

As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”

Gomez also delves into why she cut two shows from her tour — the first, due to her diagnosis of lupus and being admitted to the Meadows in Arizona, and second, when she checked herself into a psychiatric facility in Tennessee. She explains that her most recent departure from the spotlight was due to the fact that she lacked the self-esteem and confidence to inspire her fans.

I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same shit they’re dealing with. What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn’t figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, ‘This is a waste of time.’

What’s Selena up to now? She currently lives in an Airbnb in the Valley, limiting her encounters with fellow celebs. She’s also allowing herself to take a breather and steer clear of the pressures and time crunch that comes with working on set and in studio. As for Instagram? It’s now in the hands of her assistant (she doesn’t even know the password).

Gomez reminds us that it’s OK to be vulnerable. “We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”

Read the full interview here.

xx, The FabFitFun Team