Let’s face it, being in a long-term relationship requires work. As time passes, you learn more about your partner’s fears, insecurities, and bad habits and the “spark” that was once so strong slowly dissipates. Of course, that doesn’t mean you love your partner any less than you did in the honeymoon stage. It’s just the result of falling into a comfortable place.
Looking for some ways to rekindle that romance? Here are four expert-approved tips.
Break away from your routine
When you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s easy to get comfortable. Comfort and predictability can eventually lead to boredom, so Marni Feuerman, a specialist in couples’ therapy, recommends shaking things up a little bit. “If Saturdays have always been reserved for chores, plan an adventure. Try something new together that you may have been talking about and never got around to.”
Put your partner’s needs first
Dr. Amy Muise, a sexuality and relationship researcher, says both parties should be willing to make sacrifices to please their partner. Linking your happiness to your partner’s will, in turn, bring you joy too.
Practice emotional intimacy
If you’re not getting something you need or vice versa, communication is the name of the game. Psychologist John M. Gottman, author of The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, preaches practicing emotional attunement, a couple’s ability to understand and respect each other’s inner world. Instead of asking questions that require only a “yes” or “no” answer, keep them open-ended. By reframing a question or complaint in a way that’s positive, you avoid hurting your partner. Dr. Gottman says, “This requires a mental transformation from what’s wrong with one’s partner to what one’s partner can do that would work. The speaker is really saying, ‘Here’s what I feel, and what I need from you.’”
It’s that simple! According to Dr. Michael Stysma, a sex therapist, you should double the amount of time you spend holding hands with your partner. Simply by touching, your body releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone, and sparks the same excitement you felt during the blissful beginnings of a relationship.
xx, The FabFitFun Team
Do you have any tips for keeping the romance alive? Share in the comments below!