Feature Image by Kelly Sikkema
The holidays are full of fun and cheer, but for some, the bustling season can bring anxiety, exhaustion, or dread. Sound familiar? Maybe you’re shy and feel nervous about hitting up your first holiday party with your new colleagues. Or, you may be introverted and feel totally drained after making your way to multiple celebrations. Either way, we pulled together five expert tips to help you thrive in social settings this season.
Plan in advance
“Introverts can really struggle with the holiday season, especially when invited to multiple events,” psychologist Jo Eckler stresses. “It’s like a marathon of socializing!” To beat burnout, Eckler suggests mapping out a plan. “Look at your week or month as a whole and mark down the social events that you really want or need to go to. Then see where you can schedule downtime between them to be alone and recharge.”
Know your limits
Introverts can and do enjoy events and parties! Rachel Elder, a licensed mental health counselor, says that it’s all about knowing your limits. “How long can you stay before you feel depleted? Do you do better talking in smaller groups or larger groups? How does your body cue you when it’s time to go? Identifying your limits and boundaries before you go can help set you up for success and increase your enjoyment. You get to decide how long you stay, whether you break off into smaller conversations and how to be kind to yourself at parties.”
Focus on other people
Feel nervous about mingling? Maybe you’re afraid you won’t have anything to contribute to a conversation or will feel alone at an event where you don’t have many close friends. To reframe your feelings, try taking the focus off yourself and putting it on other people. “You don’t need to connect with every single person,” Chicago therapist Tara Genovese reminds. “Another tip is to go with a friend — specifically a more outgoing friend — that knows how to include you in the conversation. This way you are not fully responsible for having to think of something new to say and you will always be able to chime in when you want to.”
Go with some talking points
If chatting with people you don’t know or parties just ‘aren’t your thing,’ having a few talking points ready can make you feel more comfortable. “When you ask questions that you really want to know the answer to, your conversation will be authentic,” life coach Diana V. says.
Cheer yourself on
You’re not alone if you’re self-critical or judge yourself in social settings. Psychologist and professor Nora Girardi says while these types of feelings can increase stress, there is a way to stop negative thoughts in their tracks. “Start simply by labeling your negative thought,” she says. “This will help you get some space from them and reduce the impact on your mood. Then, use positive self-talk instead. Something like, ‘I’m here, and I can socialize and then take a break’ or ‘I’m doing my best to chat; this is difficult for me but I’m making it work.’ Research shows the impact of changing thoughts on mood and behavior. Even if you don’t enjoy the party, you will feel a sense of mastery for getting through a difficult event. You’ve got this!”
xx, The FabFitFun Team
