Nothing’s worse than losing a BFF. Luckily, it usually doesn’t happen overnight. The distance grows as you talk less and find yourselves knowing more about each other’s lives through Instagram Stories rather than your hour long phone calls. But whether it was an ugly fallout or a natural progress of drifting apart, it sucks.
While we all know that not all friendships last forever, it’s especially hard when one of those friendships is actually yours. Here are some things to keep in mind if you find that your friendship with someone is drifting apart:
1. Acknowledge the friendship for what it was.
Accept the fact that this person and this friendship mattered to you at one point in your life. Whether this friend was your confidant, travel buddy, or a shoulder to cry on, recognize what it was so you can put yourself in the right mindset to let it go.
2. Hold the friendship with loose hands.
This is a difficult one, but in it, there’s so much freedom. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t give your 110 percent into your friendships, but rather, you should understand that some things are out of your control. Whether this means lowering your expectations or giving yourself some time and distance, relinquish your control over this relationship. If this friendship is meant to be, then it will be. If it’s not, then holding it with loose hands will make it easier to let go of.
3. Allow yourself to grieve the friendship.
It’s perfectly OK to feel emotional. Whether it be anger, disappointment, frustration, betrayal, loss, or hurt, feel every single emotion — because that’s crucial to a healthy recovery. Pretending you’re fine when you actually aren’t is only a disservice to yourself because it robs you of that time to be vulnerable and grieve. Let yourself feel those emotions so you can process them and eventually get over it.
4. Appreciate the present.
Even though this friendship meant the world to you, just remember this isn’t your only friend. Look around at all the important people in your life and appreciate them. This attitude of gratitude will keep you from dwelling on what’s past. So be grateful for the people around you now and invest in those relationships.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive because anger only hurts you in the long run. You don’t want to have bitter feelings towards someone 10 years from now…that’s a lot of negative weight to carry! Forgive the friend who hurt you and keep in mind that perhaps, they were only supposed to be in your life for a season and to teach you something — forgiveness might just be one of those lessons!
xx, The FabFitFun Team