HBO

The past few episodes not only had a shorter run time than usual, but they also had less action. This slump was a bit expected as it ramped up towards the end of the season, and this episode definitely did not disappoint.

In Meereen
Despite the city literally being up in flames, Daenarys is calm and has a plan -– burn down Slaver’s Bay. Tyrion, being the voice of reason that he is, reminds her that her father wanted to do exactly the same thing and had stashes of Wildfire all throughout King’s Landing (could this be the rumor Cersei and Qyburn were talking about?). So instead of burning down a whole city, Khaleesi and her council meet with the three slave masters. The masters insult and mock Daenarys, but instead of throwing insults back, she has Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal completely burn a slave ship. After seeing Khaleesi flex, the masters surrender and submit to her (again). Theon and Yara also make it to the Great Pyramid, and after some brilliant and witty banter, Daenarys and Yara form an alliance.

Winterfell
Bastardbowl begins with Ramsay leting Rickon free to run to Jon and using him as target practice. Just as Jon is about to take hold of his youngest brother, an arrow pierces Rickon’s heart and instantly kills him (One quick note to Rickon: Why did you run in a straight line? Did you want to die?!). Jon, in a fit of rage, charges forward alone (completely disregarding his game plan) until his mount is shot by an arrow. Jon stands there alone with the Bolton men charging at him and in one of the most epic moments in the show, he takes his belt off, draws his sword, and prepares to die with honor. Just as the enemy cavalry is about to hit him, Jon’s own mounted knights swoop in from behind him and crash into the incoming foe. In the next minute, a single camera angle follows the Stark bastard as the chaos of battle unfolds: gravel flies through the air, blood and mud cover everything, horses run around in shock, and arrows constantly rains down.

After the Stark army defeats the Bolton cavalry, the Bolton infantry surround them with a shield phalanx on three sides, and the literal mountain of dead bodies is at their backs. With their spears pointed in at the Starks, the phalanx advanced one step at a time, slowly and methodically taking lives. Smalljon and the Umber men climbed onto the corpse hill and prevented anybody from escaping. After attempting to break through the shield wall and failing, Tormund instructs his troops to retreat and in the process, Jon Snow is knocked down and on the verge of being trampled to death. Smalljon engages Tormund one-on-one and after being headbutted 19 times (trust us, we counted), things looked grim, but just as Jon fights his way out of the sea of Wildlings and takes a gasp of air, Tormund tears out Smalljon’s jugular and stabs him 19 times in the face (again, we counted). A horn blows, and taking a page out of Gandalf’s playbook from The Two Towers, Petyr Baelish comes swooping in to the rescue with the Knights of the Vale.

Defeated, Ramsay retreats back into Winterfell knowing that the Starks don’t have the supplies to maintain a siege. Wun Wun (the Giant) singlehandedly breaks down the gates, and the Stark army pours in and Jon faces Ramsay, who is armed with a bow and arrow. Jon grabs a shield off the floor, walks toward the Bolton bastard, blocks three arrows, and knocks him down. Jon climbs on Ramsay, and dishes out a ground and pound that would make Connor McGregor proud. Within inches of death, Ramsay is tied up in his kennels and Sansa finally gets her revenge as she lets his own hounds rip him to shreds.

Fun Facts

  • This week’s episode is currently the highest rated episode of the series -– it has a 10/10 rating on IMDB with over 25,000 reviews.
  • Iwan Rheon (Ramsay Bolton) originally auditioned for the role of Jon Snow.
  • 600 crew members, 500 extras, 160 tons of gravel, 70 horses, 25 stuntmen, 25 days of shooting, 4 camera crews, and over $10 million dollars went into the making of the battle between the Starks and Boltons.
  • Miguel Sapochnik, who directed Hardhome (Season 5, Episode 8), was also the mastermind behind this epic battle.
  • Battle of the Bastards was submitted for Emmy consideration in five categories.
  • Ramsay called Jon Snow a bastard no less than six times.

xx, The FabFitFun Team