The first time you have sex evokes a lot of emotions. There is the fear of it hurting, the anticipation that it’ll be perfect, the closeness you feel with your partner and many many more. Your first time doesn’t have to be scary. But just know that if it is… well… weird, that’s OK. It will get better.
Here are a few tips we wish we would have known when we first made the decision to take a relationship to the next level. These aren’t just useful tips for your first time but a few key essentials to an enjoyable sex life going forward.
1. Safety First
Even if you’re on the pill, make sure your partner wraps it up. Have condoms on hand, some guys don’t. You don’t have to turn your nightstand into a sex shop but having a few condoms and a small bottle of lube will have you equipped with the necessary tools for a safe and successful first time.
2. Lower The Bar
Fact: your first time won’t be perfect. There are no singing birds or epic firework shows — usually. The first time you have sex might be weird or even kind of freaky. Just know that it gets better. After the first time you’ll already start to know what you like and don’t like. You’ll most likely also be more willing to communicate more effectively with your partner after the first time. Consider it a test drive.
3. Say “Yes” To Foreplay
Don’t rush right into penetration. Foreplay will pretty much always make sex better. It will help you and your partner connect as well as getting you nice and lubricated. It may even help you decide if this is in fact the day you want to lose your v-card. Maybe half way into foreplay you’ll decide to save it for another day.
4. Pacing Is Key
Do what feels best. It’s always nice to ease into everything at first. If going slow isn’t working, speed it up. Your first time doesn’t have to go at a snail’s pace but it should be the pace that’s more comfortable for both you and your partner. Communicating during your first time can be difficult or weird but it will make everything feel and go better.
5. Crossing The Finish Line… Or Not
Oh the fun part of sex, finishing. You may not have an orgasm the first time you have sex. Actually a lot of women don’t orgasm from penetration alone and that’s OK! You’ll figure out your groove the more you and your partner are intimate. Your partner may also not climax. Some men finish very fast and some just don’t. If they don’t, it’s OK! We promise. This is a big day for them too. Don’t feel like you did anything wrong or that they don’t like you. Just be gentle with each other and embrace your first time together.
xx, The FabFitFun Team